Just like an asana flow, it unravels than and there.
I sometimes listen to my finishing words with my eyes sparkling in gratitude, because it all somehow got deeply connected, the beginning, middle and the end without me planning it and in retrospective, I learned a lot from the structure that unraveled. Sometimes I say things I have never heard myself say before and I co-create a language of technique that is unique and perhaps even passes me by so I don’t memorize it and can’t repeat it anymore. Here is where I have the opportunity to practice letting go the most and to trust it will come back if needed and most importantly, if I let it go it will prevent me from being stale in my expressions.
But it just keeps making sense (unlike this writing now haha, but I will get “there”) and I admire this channel that allows me to co-create freely then and there, I admire this trust I have grown into and this admiration helps me not to take it for granted, because a couple of years ago it was not here, this freedom, there was too much structure killing creativity and with that there was no space for art, the students couldn’t communicate through me.
I perceive teaching as a form of art that always surprises, that is, if I stop interfering with my rigid plans and the need to control everything and come clean with just a basic direction and a theme. If I approach it in a dry way with a fixed structure, then it is only me and my “audience”, there is no chemistry, no flow between what is needed and what I am leading people through, there is no space for magic, for being led.
I perceive teaching as a form of art because it takes place in interaction and it flows in communication with the subconscious dialogs that are all the time going on between our psychological bodies, the student is a teacher and the teacher is a student and vice versa. The things I point out sometimes surprise me and then a practitioner comes to me and says that it is exactly what they are working on or that they are inspired, sometimes they write they were triggered and that it got them thinking.
This type of feedback reinforces me in giving myself permission to trust more, trust the process as it unravels, trust myself and my openness, trust the practitioners, their subtle responses during the practice, our connection and to always facilitate from the space of respect, love and freshness instead of leading the class from a fixed idea.
When new people come, new words are born, new stories told, new transitions arise, communication patterns get interrupted and the invention is inevitable. Everybody and everything is a muse.
All the years of studying different techniques, philosophies, therapies, theories, concepts, tools but especially all the years of working with many different people individually and in groups, focusing on listening and observing and allowing them to change me. All of this gets through the filter and melts together into a juicy mix of personalities, emotions, mindsets, bodies, souls, wisdom, trust to create a unique work of art every time when in contact because it is all of our experiences in one co-created syrup.
It is just like this and any other text, any poem I have ever written, I have no idea where it will go and how it will finish. I just breathe, trust, let go and let flow.
Autor : Sanja Zalar Gostimirović